Aneesa

Hi, my name is Aneesa, I am 30 years old and this is my story.

At the age of 25, I was diagnosed with PCOS. I was newly married at that time and really wanted to start a family of my own. Doctors told me that I would not be able to conceive or that it might take years to even have a baby. But I didn’t lose hope, with prayer and believing in God's word.

About 5 months after my diagnosis, I became pregnant. I was so excited; joy filled my heart. I was over the moon, thinking this is it. I going to be a mum. During pregnancy, those little kicks and rolls became memories to last a lifetime for me. However, the nightmare began when I was 23 weeks pregnant, I woke up one morning to heavy bleeding, and I rushed to hospital. I was told they were so sorry, but I was having a threatened miscarriage and there was nothing they could do to save the baby.

My heart stopped. I cried out to God, “Why me? Why is this happening??” I sat there in the hospital in fear, not knowing what to expect and having extremely heavy pains. They kept coming and going, only getting worse as time went on. Eventually, I screamed for the nurse, and at 1 a.m. on the 23rd of May, 2018, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl.

She was so little and peaceful. I held her in my arms, looking at those tiny fingers and toes. I knew I couldn’t take her home, but I didn’t know what to even feel. It seemed as if I were stuck in a bad dream. I dosed off and when I got up, that’s when reality hit me. I was going home with emptiness.

Depression crept in slowly. I had to be rushed back to hospital, as my pressure shot extremely high because of the anxiety I was experiencing as a result of my loss. A few days later, I began to cry and pray, falling down on my knees in hopelessness.

I said to God, “Please, I know you’re not done with me. You said we shall see visions and have dreams, so please show me.” That day, I had a vision of a little boy, newly born and wrapped in a green cloth. God touched me in such a powerful way. Encouraged, I opened up about my miscarriage. I prayed and I trusted God because I knew He wasn’t done with me yet.

I read scriptures from the Bible daily and declared I was going to have another baby. I thought, God, you did it for Sarah, Elizabeth, and Hannah; give me a baby and I will give back just like Hannah did. In your words, you said “Worship the Lord your God and he will bless your food and water. He will take away sickness amongst you, and none will miscarry or be barren in the land.” The fruit of the womb is but a reward, and you said we should ask in your name.

Well, wonderful news came to me on 20th October 2018. I was sick and decided to take a pregnancy test. I could not believe my eyes, but with my hands shaking, joy and fear filled my heart. The test was positive. God never seems to fail, for He is a miracle-working God.

I took my pregnancy one day at a time. I was afraid of losing another baby, but I replaced my fear with faith. Six months through my pregnancy I started to bleed late one night. Again, I was rushed to hospital, but as I entered the room I said “Devil, you are not going to take another child from me. I command you to leave. God, I will carry this baby full term for nine months and I’m not going to give up. I came so far; I’m not going to lose another baby.”

Doctors told me I had a low-lying placenta, but the bleeding stopped the next day. I was on bed rest. On the 3rd day, I went back to hospital and I was completely fine. My placenta was well positioned and there was no bleeding. The doctors were very surprised that this happened.

With God’s grace, I carried my baby full term and my little rainbow child was born on the 14th of July 2019. He was exactly like the vision God gave me. I named him Zion Ezekiel Mahomed. Then in 2021, I became pregnant again. This time, the same thing that had happened to me in 2018 happened to me again. At 21 weeks, I lost another baby.

I was devastated and broken. Going through that tragedy again was horrible, and had to tell my partner that I was so sorry, but we were losing the baby. Tears rolled down my face and I felt as if something was wrong with me. As if all this was my fault, because of the situation with my body. On the 28th of July, I gave birth to my baby boy. I held him with a smile on my face and kissed him goodbye. I just gained another little angel.

This time I was stronger because I knew what to expect, but having Zion at home kept me going. I had been listening to the word and Micheal Todd inspired me to write down things that I want God to have a hand in in my life. I wrote my thoughts down in a little book and declared in 2023, I would have a healthy baby girl. I wasn’t giving up. My God is a miracle-working God and in 2022, I unexpectedly became pregnant.

Again, I took my pregnancy one day at a time. This time I was told to do a cervical stitch to help me carry my baby full term and I had an amazing, healthy pregnancy. On 2 February 2023, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. We named her Daniella Esther Moonsamy.

I hope that my story touches someone. Sometimes we wonder why certain things happen to us, not really realizing how many women go through the same thing. God wants us to turn to him with all our hearts. Having faith the size of a mustard seed really can move mountains. I always asked God to use me, but I didn’t realize the pain I would face and that what the enemy meant for evil, God would turn into something good.

Everywhere I go, I always meet women who have gone through miscarriages. Not everyone knows how to deal with it. It breaks my heart when I hear people lost their babies, and it’s something you won't understand unless you go through it yourself. No matter how many years may pass, those little lives we carry and give birth to will always be a part of us.

The God I serve turned my nightmare into a beautiful blessing I may have lost two babies, but he blessed me with another two. And I can’t imagine my life without them. God blessed me with 2 babies in heaven and 2 babies on earth. If it hadn’t been for losing those babies, my two rainbow babies would not be here today.

My situation broke me, but God made me strong. Now I can stand up and encourage other women. Never give up. If he said it, he will do it. It wasn’t until He died on that cross that he said “It is done.” Never give up. God died on the cross for our sins, and by his stripes, we are healed.

Doctors may say things that can bring your faith down and they can make it seem like your life is over, but God never fails his children. God never lets our tears go in vain. He wants us to draw close to him and to trust in him. Faith will take you a long way because God’s timing is not our timing.

About a year and a half after giving birth to my daughter, I had a little issue where my inside got ripped apart and my nerves and muscles stopped functioning in my rectum. I had a colostomy bag put on and I still remember a nurse saying to me, “Sis, you stink.” I wasn’t mobile and she pulled me out of the bed by force and told me I needed to start walking. She looked at me with disgust and told me my life would never be normal.

I cried my heart out that day and I almost went into depression, I told my partner to leave me; I felt like dying. But the only thing that kept me going was God. I’m alive and my kids are healthy and well. How can I leave my babies without a mom? Despite what my body was going through, I’d do anything for my children.

My situation went on for more than a year. I did my best to keep clean: I dressed well and I never smelled. No one even knew about my bag. I trust God. I know all is well. I believe my trials and pain are there to inspire others. If I know one thing, it’s that God made me a strong woman. These days I pray for that nurse, and I hope to one day tell her that I made it.