Guillaume M.

It was in 1991 and I was 25 years old. Jesus came closer to me and showed me his face. That day, I was in Paray-Le-Monial for one last evening of vigil before leaving the next morning. Many gathered in the chapel for a time of adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. The assembly was collected, entirely devoted to prayer and adoration. I was also there to pray. And I observed all these people around me, noting that everyone really had a good reason to be there. And yet, my heart was sad. Sad for a long time already, sad to the point of dying, affected by a deep wound, and the desire for another life, eternal, without fear and without suffering.

For several years I had been suffering from an unexpected loss of consciousness. The doctors said that it was not alarming, simply fainting without consequences. And it was true, although it happened to me quite often. It could happen anytime and anywhere, in the street, in the subway, at work, or at the cinema, and almost systematically, when I encountered a situation of suffering for myself or someone else.

Every time I lost consciousness, I found myself separated from my body and saw people running and bustling around me from above. In this situation, I no longer felt any physical pain, but on the contrary, great peace. Sometimes when it lasted a little longer, I glimpsed a space of life and light that attracted me.

A sort of unconscious search for these privileged moments outside the world has been installed in me, with the consequence of the progressive loss of all taste for life on earth and infinite sadness. One day, I took the time to remember all the times this had happened and I counted them. It happened forty times. There were signs that alerted me and I realized that all this was not good. Not only because there were situations where I almost lost my life by falling, but mostly because I saw people who didn't know me at all suffer and cry over me.

One day, when I had lost consciousness after seeing a woman in absolute pain on a subway platform, I saw people gathering around me. They were calling for help and panicking, while this person who was in vital need of assistance a few meters away was curled up and forgotten by everyone. I was upset and felt a great injustice. So, I decided to seek God differently.

I visited many sacred places and pilgrimage sites. I also went to Lourdes, Pontmain, Czestochowa, Medjugorje, Paris, Taizé, Paray le Monial, etc. On the last evening of my stay in Paray le Monial, I had a meeting that changed my life. At the end of the time of adoration, when I left the chapel, I felt the need to turn around to look one last time at this wonderful place and all the people there. And there, in the middle of everyone, I saw Jesus walking slowly up the central aisle from the hotel.

He walked barefoot, dressed in a white tunic, with his hands open slightly downward. He looked at everyone and turned his head from right to left. And he said to me: “Look... Look... I'm here! ". He was radiant in the midst of everyone, radiant with joy, with love for everyone, and radiant with a bright white light that did not dazzle because we could see every feature of his face. He was deeply happy.

People didn't see him because they didn't turn their heads as he passed. His voice was internal and people could not hear it. Jesus came closer to me. So close that I could only see his face. He looked at me with a big smile. He wore a look of hope, like the look of children who hope for everything from us, without any ulterior motive or judgment. A look that frees the soul from all fear. I contemplated the real Truth in the presence of Jesus. Truth from which absolute authority arises before which nothing can be opposed. I understood the meaning of the word “fear” of God in the face of the omnipotence of Truth.

Then for a moment, I thought to myself: how can you be so happy, when I am so sad? I felt guilty about this thought for a long time and I still deeply regret it today. Forgive me, Jesus. Then he disappeared. I so wished he could stay with me longer. I went home without telling anyone and went to bed, upset but happy and, to be honest, saved. What seemed surprising to me afterward was that I didn't even have a feeling of surprise. As if the presence of Jesus so close was not unusual to me, or at least not surprising. Besides, I spoke to Jesus as if we had known each other forever. That day, I saw the main thing, how much Jesus loved me, and how much he loved everyone personally. He is alive, very much alive with us. I can attest to that! He erased my sadness forever with his gaze. It changed my own outlook on the world. God's work on earth is great and beautiful!

He also saved me because from that day on, my loss of consciousness, where my soul separated from my body, became less and less frequent, until it disappeared completely, and above all, I did not hope for them anymore. I understood that I had to live my life, be an actor in the world, and be happy. That day I truly met Jesus. He opened my eyes and truly saved me. No one ever knew it, except a priest to whom I entrusted it and who advised me to take the time to discern, and then my wife of course. It was only after many years that I began to discreetly talk about it with a few very trusted people.

Jesus is my friend, present at my side forever. For a long time I prayed to see him again, but, with the hindsight of time, I now pray every day that Jesus speaks and shows Himself at all times and in all places, to as many people as possible, and especially to the most fragile people, men and women of the world who so deeply need His help. I'm sure He does. What has this changed in my life? After asking myself a thousand questions and trying to answer them, I finally realized the importance of giving time. This meeting is so significant that it does not fade with time. On the contrary, time allows the necessary perspective to understand its deeper meaning. I understand better now why Jesus said after saving someone: “Don’t tell anyone."

Jesus is not coming to cause disorder. He does not act urgently. He comes to save men. And He does not do it by force or against our will. He respects the time everyone needs. Jesus offers us a path of conversion to freedom. It helps us measure our needs, our expectations, and our weaknesses. Time also allows us to face the feeling of guilt that comes from the evil one. The guilt I had for not having been able to respond to what He gave me, for not knowing how to bear witness immediately, for not knowing how to change my life to let go of everything, and for not having been able to show more humility and respect. All this seems disappointing indeed, but it is about my nature and my human condition. Over time, recognizing these weaknesses allows me to live more humbly in my rightful place. Pride is for me the source of a great inner struggle. It is pride that instinctively drives all deviations in thought, language, and behavior. Pride is the opposite of self-sacrifice. It is in the humility of prayer that I can welcome Jesus into my life. And it is through our prayer that Jesus can act among our loved ones and in the world.

Today, my faith is not to “believe” that God exists, but to “know” that He exists. Knowing that Jesus is Alive in the literal sense of the word. He is truly present, at our side. I know this because He allowed me to meet him. Knowing that Jesus loves me deeply and that he hopes for the best from me and for me. I am aware that I have done absolutely nothing extraordinary that could explain so much recognition and love. My faith is therefore neither glorious, nor courageous, nor deserved and this must make me more humble. Moreover, I still recognize my lack of faith when I worry and doubt the presence of God when faced with unjust or hopeless situations. I learned to turn more towards others, to be much more attentive and caring towards lonely and most fragile people. I also understood the importance of welcoming the views of others and having an open and caring view of everyone. This meeting established a deep, permanent, indestructible bond of trust in Jesus, who I know is close to me.

Every day, and especially in difficult times, I pray: “Jesus, I trust You.” ​So I know with certainty that Jesus is the Word of God, the Truth, and the Life. He let me see Him. But why does Jesus tell us that He is the Way? And that no one can go to the Father without going through Him? (John 14.6) I know many people from all over the world, from Europe, Asia, Africa, and America whom I see as friends. Some are not Christians. They are of other faiths and some are even atheists, but each acts in their own way for the good of the world. And finally, I understood why Jesus is indeed the only Way for every man on earth whatever his culture, his origins, or religion.

God is the Creator. I must recognize my condition as a man, a creature of God. Not being divine in nature, I must understand and accept that my Salvation is in the hands of God. My human condition does not allow me to access, as it is, the divine. If I do not call God to my aid, if I do not reach out my hand to him, I will not be able to access the Kingdom of God and eternal Life on my own. There is only one Path of Light because there is only one Kingdom and only one God. And this Path of Light passes through the Truth for the Salvation of my soul. The Word of Truth enlightens my conscience in complete transparency to purify my soul. And the acceptance of the Truth, which implies the recognition of my weaknesses, delivers my soul. Without sincere reception of the absolute Truth, my soul cannot access Salvation. Now I know that Jesus is the Truth.

This is why Jesus is the Path to Salvation, the door to access eternal life for every man on earth. Every man will face the Truth and see, in due time, the Path of Light that leads to Eternal Life with God. ​ So, from now on, all my efforts on earth for more truth, more love, and charity, are so many steps taken on the Path to Eternal Life. There are people from all backgrounds, all ages, all origins, and all faiths who are very close to holiness even before leaving the world, and others for whom the path is still long. But let's understand it well; the works are not the main thing. How many works are necessary to guarantee my Salvation? Ten, hundred, thousand? Is there a price for the salvation of my soul? No. Above all, let us pray that no work becomes a source of profit, disorder, or pride, for myself or for my brothers. The work must never become an end in itself.

Jesus is infinitely gentle. He doesn't tell me: “Do absolutely this or that”, but rather he asks me about my life: “Do you love me?" The essential thing therefore is to know how to snuggle into the arms of Jesus, to devote oneself entirely to Jesus. There, evil cannot approach. There is Salvation. I also see a parallel in marriage; when man and woman become one: in spirit, in life plan, in confidence, and in hope, then evil no longer has any control over them. They become co-creators and light in the world in the image of God. I know that living this every day seems unattainable, but thanks to You Lord, “Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” Let us remain in the Love of Jesus to advance day after day on the Path that leads to Heaven. The Salvation of our souls is at stake because only He can save us.